you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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