you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
