dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
