But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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