you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize