plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
