Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
