I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
