i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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