And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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