You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
