too bad you live with your parents still
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
