if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
