someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
bring money and cleavage
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize