to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
