WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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