Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
