in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
