playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
