I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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