On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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