Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
