jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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