What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
