Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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