South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
