$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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