She is in my trunk
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
