i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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