So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
