Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
