You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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