I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
