My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
