Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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