Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
