i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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