He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize