Pappa wants mamma naked
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
