it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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