; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
