Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
