How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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