I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
