VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize