conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
