Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
