hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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