I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
