well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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