mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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