So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
