Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
