i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
