just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
