There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
