i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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