The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
