Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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