I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize