So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
