Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
