whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
