just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
