check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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