are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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