Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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