when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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