On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
