man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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