well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
