we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
