North Korea, Best Korea!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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