i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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