I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
