I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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