Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
