My cat gives me a boner
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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